The Truth about Homestays: Pros and Cons

One of the most stressful aspects of moving abroad is deciding on housing.

If you are moving abroad without a program to provide support, there are slews of options.

(You can find most of them housing and roommate-finding websites).  

However, if you have a program that is supporting you, some programs provide housing in apartments, housing in student housing, homestays, and still others provide international students with housing information but the students ultimately have to secure housing by themselves.

It is a lot.

One of the biggest conversations I frequently have with students centers around the reality of homestays.

Host families can vary just like families in the US.  There can be retired couples, families with children, families hosting a number of other students, young couples… the list goes on.  All of these families, when connected to a program, have likely been vetted by the program for safety, accessibility, and ability to support students.  

There are pros and cons to living with a host family.  There are a variety of facts that are what they are (it’s up to you to decide if you would add them to pros or cons).

Study abroad advisors frequently encourage students to consider homestays because of the immersive language and cultural component of living with a family.  

It is important for students to manage expectations about all housing options before moving in with a family, a roommate, or alone.  Here is the list of pros and cons for living with homestays.

Pros:

You will have a direct connection to the city on arrival

Hooray for insta-tour guides!  Host families understand that you are living with them in order to get to know their city even better, and most families are more than eager to show off their homes.  

Best bakery close to home?  You will learn it quickly!  

A quirky restaurant?  They might own it!  

You want to visit the countryside?  Sure – they are going there for Easter and would love to have you come!

(Side note – my French host family did take me to the French countryside for Easter and we stayed at the grandparents’ house.  The grandparents were not there.  I’m still working that one out.)

Many meals are likely provided

Free food always tastes better.

Most homestays will communicate in advance just how many meals will be provided.

Two meals during the week and three on weekends? Three every day? One a day?  None because students can have their own meals?

No matter which option it is, this is a great way to experience home-cooked food from the family’s culture.  

You will need to communicate any food allergies or dietary restrictions prior to arriving with either the program coordinator or your host family.  Something of note – you will want to research eating and drinking customs in your host culture in advance.  This is so you do not mistakenly offend your host family (or so you can prepare yourself for the huge amounts of food presented to you).

You don’t have to worry about paying additional bills

Homestays, for the most part, do not nickel and dime their studens.  Whatever agreed-upon weekly or monthly fee you paid covers your portion of utilities, food, and perhaps Internet.  

I have heard that some homestays do not provide Internet, but this is something to discuss in advance with the program coordinator or host family.

Getting this communication in writing will help clear up any misunderstandings you may have on this topic in the future.  

You will have a fully immersive language experience

You want to learn Polish fluently?  A host family will pretty much ensure that.

You might be asked for some English lessons, but what better way to share culture than through mutually beneficial language lessons?

You will experience the most effective cultural interaction and transformation

Living with a host family is a great way to truly experience the day-to-day life of your host culture.  

You will see what the pastimes are, the similarities in culture, as well as the stark differences.  

You will also develop a stronger understanding of the cultural differences, and maybe why things are the way that they are (or, alternately, this will just create more questions in your mind).  

More importantly, your host family will be able to serve as cultural informants for you.  When you have questions about the culture that you don’t feel comfortable asking elsewhere, your family will be able to field your questions and help you learn more about them and their culture.  

In short, for the deepest cultural exchange, homestays are just what the doctor ordered.  

 

Cons:

You will have to communicate your plans when you intend to skip a meal (or otherwise be away)

Does this sound like what happens when you visit your family at home?  It is common courtesy to do this, but it can absolutely be annoying to have to decide on your plans in advance.  

You probably will not be allowed overnight guests

If you are living with a host family in Spain and you have a friend visiting you from the Czech Republic, you can always ask your host family if you can have this friend stay during the weekend.  However, this could be viewed as intrusive.  

It is important to determine the policy for overnight guests in advance.  If you have a housing agreement that you sign, make sure you read all of the information in the agreement and ask for any clarification prior to committing if this is important to you.  

If you do not get along with the family it will be challenging

This goes for differences in lifestyle and opinion.

My biggest challenge with one of my host families was the presence of smoke.  I cannot stand living in an environment where someone smokes.

I had disclosed this on my housing request, but was placed with a family where the father was a chain smoker (at least he smoked on the balcony).  The smoke would still come in the apartment, and I had headaches as a result.  

I mentioned this to the housing coordinator, but was told that there weren’t any families that were entirely smoke-free.  I eventually got used to the smoke, and the family members were really sweet, but I was relieved when I could leave for a few days to stop smelling of smoke. 

You are subject to the family’s rules and ways

There will be times when the way that you were raised will be in direct conflict with the way that the family does things.

This includes anything from packing (no, Mama, I really don’t need your help packing my bags – even though you already did it for me…).

And also eating (what do you mean that you will feed me and watch me eat instead of eat at the table with me?), and even to holidays (…you told me not to get presents and then you got me a million things…).  

If you are able to think critically about your gut reaction and contextualize it within your home culture, the more accepting you will be.  

There is not as much access to other students

This is probably the most common complaint that I hear from students who stay with host families.  Homestay students do not have constant access to other students, unless there are other university students staying in the house.

It is harder to make friends in your age group when your host family does not interact with that age group aside from host students.  

Many students who encounter this challenge find ways to stay involved (like participating in student groups and sports) and appreciate their homestays, but are somewhat wistful about not having roommates their age.  

Related Posts: 11 Things You Need to Research Before Traveling
Checklist: Things to Do During Your First Week Abroad
7 Habits of Successful Study Abroad Students
An Open Letter to Students Departing for Study Abroad

Overall, it is important to consider your desired living arrangements abroad – nothing is truly perfect or ideal for everyone, but researching different options (with the help of your trusty study abroad advisor) is an important first step.

Have you stayed with homestays?  What did you love?  What was challenging?