Inevitably, before any extended time abroad (study abroad, working abroad, traveling for a long time abroad), everyone goes through a time that I’d like to refer to as “What the Hell Have I Done.”
To be fair, you probably experienced this when you left for college as well as during any other time of great change in your life.
The symptoms of this time can include any or all of the following:
- Sitting on the floor staring at your room
- Freaking out about little things (WHY ISN’T THERE A SALE ON TOOTHPASTE RIGHT NOW?!)
- Throbbing headaches
- Fear of misplacing all of the things
- Shaking your head whilst saying “what the hell have I done”
Doing all of the above while sobbing, crying, shoveling copious amounts of ice cream (or other comfort foods) in your mouth is also an added bonus.
Let me assure you – this is completely normal. There is a lot of unknown when it comes to a large change in your life, and especially when it comes from going away from all that is comfortable and familiar for an extended period of time.
As we are approaching summer and finals are (mostly) over, students who are embarking on summer programs or fall programs are beginning to realize that they will be leaving for their international programs in just a few weeks or months.
And it’s mostly exciting.
But also terrifying.
If you are having a “what the hell have I done” moment…
Know you are not alone!
No, but really. You aren’t alone.
At least 98ish percent of people going through a large change – like studying abroad, going to university, moving away – have at least one moment of panic, remorse, regret, or anxiety.
If you haven’t had this moment leading up to your departure, you sure as hell will have it at some point while abroad.
It’s totally normal to start contemplating your life choices.
My “what the hell have I done” moment didn’t come until 3 months after I moved abroad.
My three-month-iversary coincided with Thanksgiving. And I was the hottest of the hot messes when it happened.
KFC wasn’t the same as being with my family, no matter how secret their recipe was.
Embrace your feelings.
As a human, you likely have these things called “feelings” and “emotions.”
(Although if you don’t, you might be an android.)
You are allowed to deal with your emotions and feelings in a constructive way. Feel free to cry, mope, wail, curl up in a ball, stare morosely at pictures from home, and otherwise express your emotions.
Try to avoid lashing out at people in your host culture (this is easier said than done, I know), making other people miserable, or telling your mother how much you hate your host country.
The feeling will pass. Things will become “normal.”
However, if you start veering towards contemplating or enacting self harm, your next step needs to be to visit a local counselor, or call your therapist back home.
Find your center.
This is critical for pursuing normalcy. Remember all of the things you liked to do at home? You can probably do them abroad as well (within reason, of course)!
Running, yoga, walking, singing, painting, drawing, volunteering, working with kids…
There are plenty of opportunities for getting involved in any of these activities wherever you go, and you can either research these opportunities in advance or while you are already abroad.
I have known people who have taught kindergartners, joined dance teams, started running clubs, traded language and cooking lessons, practiced yoga, and much more.
As Billy Shakes said in the Merry Wives of Windsor, “The world is [thine] oyster.”
As soon as you find something familiar to bring you back to normal, the world will right itself.
Keep breathing.
Breathe in.
Hold it… Hold it…
Now breathe out.
And repeat.
If you hyperventilate about how crazy it was that you decided to move to a different country, follow the four lines above until you have returned your pulse to a normal rate.
Maintain some perspective.
If nothing else is working for your anxiety, think of all of the other challenges you have overcome in your life.
You survived them, right?
You’re a total badass.
You can handle a few months/weeks/days away from home. Hell, you can even have a countdown if that is what helps you.
You’ll be back there sooner than you know, full of wonderful memories and experiences.
Looking for some light reading to help on perspective? I suggest “Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson. It helped me when I moved away from my hometown at 16.
Not a reader? There is a 16-minute movie based on the book (Watch on YouTube).
What did you do when you had a panicked moment about moving abroad?
Related Posts:
Why Students Prefer Spring Study Abroad (and Why You Should Consider Fall!)
When to Start Planning for Study Abroad
Why I Withdrew from Semester-Long Study Abroad
Ask an Advisor: What Should Students Ask?
An Open Letter to Students Departing for Study Abroad